Today is a gruelling experience.

I am so utterly bored and frustrated beyond all words. I long for something new, something exciting. True, I could (If I so wished) just venture out and find myself a new toy, but that is too easy, and I do not do well when faced with such easy targets. I long, yearn for something new, something or someone challenging. These are the times I most wish that we were not so developed that manners, etiquette and expectation fill our every waking day and night.

Yes. Even I tire of such matters.

Today I wish to run wild, be in my element, within the wilderness. Let the beast within me out without the concerns of having to cage her once more. I can feel her inside me clawing closer and closer to escape. Once upon a time I chose to keep her at bay inside me, control seemed the best option, but recently I grow tired of such control. I grow tired of the mundane and expectation. I require, no NEED excitement and danger. I have experienced much in my several hundred years, but that doesn’t mean a girl doesn’t need someone or something to keep her on her toes.

I have grown my business well over the years, and the many faces it (and I) wore. From circus, to restaurant, from music hall to Brothel, each one has gained notoriety, acclaim and money. And with each one a happy customer and beautiful corpse did follow. I have evaded the police force and those who may thwart my plans for me and my family, each time done with implicit guile and a sweet smile. But that is where the problem lies. No one seems able to test me, and because of that I sit bored. Frustrated to the point of dancing a dangerous dance with a will to be caught, but caught I never am.

So let me run fiercely and wildly into the woods, strip myself of my clothes, sing to the moon and let the caged beast upon the world. Enough of the meticulous rules, enough of the polite etiquette, enough of good behaviour.

I know, this is something I cannot allow to indulge in within the long-term. But for now, I require my escape. For the safety of all (myself included) I must allow my spirit free. For how long I do not know, but she is so close to the surface I can feel her prickle beneath my skin. I know what she wants, and will take for herself. I will allow her to indulge in every facet of sin she requires, for if I do not, my own will shall be overcome and danger she will dance with at every possible turn, until a bloody end.

It’s time to let the beast out of her cage, and let her play once more…

 

Madame X

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